Petition For Pie
By Alyssa Haddad
Guys, it’s here. Turn on the game and unbutton your pants. It’s time for Thanksgiving. The most important food holiday of the year, and yet, one of the most underrated celebrations. Consistently trampled over by Christmas and New Years, Thanksgiving always seems to be the middleman of festivities. The towel thrown after you’ve eaten too much Halloween candy with a vow that you’ll set a resolution in January to never make that mistake again. The pregame to the winter holiday season that reminds you that family is also best in moderation.
I have a theory about why Thanksgiving is the forgotten middle child of the holiday season. If Thanksgiving would embrace its best assets, maybe it would finally be met with the respect and excitement that it deserves. Hear me out: it’s time to embrace the pie.
I get it. Traditions are traditions. Your Mom stays up for 36 hours to make her turkey. Your uncle steps into the kitchen one day a year to bring his signature mac and cheese. But your Mom’s turkey always comes out a little dry and your uncle’s mac to cheese ratio is all over the place. Nothing on the table is exactly how you’d prefer it. People are stressed out and sweating. You feel guilty for drinking wine while your grandma scrubs dishes. And what’s so special about the food selection, anyway? You can have mashed potatoes any day of the week, so why not cut all of that out and go right to dessert?
Photo from: Friends, NBC
Pies are the least utilized dessert in the sugar rotation. But why? They have the looks. They have the personality. Pies could easily be both prom queen and student body president. And yet, there’s hardly a time other than Thanksgiving where we eat pie. Pie is a special occasion dessert, and I think we should, as a group, fully lean into its grand entrance. Let’s ditch the turkey and cranberry sauce and make pie the centerpiece of Thanksgiving. Let’s do away with dinner, and skip right to a buffet of fruit filling. This Thanksgiving, instead of saving room for dessert like it’s a task, do what’s right and make pie the star of your table.
Alyssa Haddad
Columnist
Alyssa Haddad is a Brooklyn-based Playwright and Screenwriter. Her plays have been presented at the Capital Repertory Theatre, Theater for the New City, Sundog Theatre, Kraine Theater, and The Midtown International Theatre Festival where she was the recipient of the Playwright’s Award. She is an alumna of Living Room Theater’s New Play Incubator Lab and a current member of New Perspectives Theatre Company’s Women’s Work Play Lab. She is also an Artist-In-Residence at Adams State University’s Rare AIR program. Connect with Alyssa at AlyssaHaddad.com, on Twitter @AlyssaSwagdad and on Instagram @AlyssaHaddad.